DRAFT Magazine

Beer-ups

Looking over the Beer Runner body of work, you’d think that beer is the best thing to happen to active lifestyles since Bill Bowman’s waffle iron.

But we’re all about the objectivity here at Beer Runner HQ. If there’s contrary evidence, it should come to light.

So I talked to Danny Noonan, who took part in a crossfit workout involving pull-ups, beer chugging, burpees… and even more beer chugging. The occasion was the finale of a Level 1 Crossfit Certification process at Crossfit Milwaukee.

Watch the video here.

The result?

“Looking at the tape,” Danny later observed, “I may have had a pull-up or two that were not legit.”

There you have it. Drink beer, and run the risk of having one, maybe two illegitimate pull-ups.

So please, drink and do pull-ups responsibly.

RrrrrrrrrOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!

Ahem.

Excuse me. I was just letting off a little masculine steam.

Lately I’ve really been into a workout called Crossfit, which I discovered here before I was victimized challenged here.

When I describe Crossfit to someone who’s never tried it before, I say it’s like the Fight Club of workouts. By that I mean it’s no-frills, blast past your comfort zone, push beyond your limits kind of place.

The other day we ended a workout standing around in a circle and hurling a 20-pound medicine ball at each other. And that was our cool-down!

But my favorite part of Crossfit remains the kettle bell. You can’t help but feel like a badass when you’re chucking around a Russian weight that looks like “a cannonball with a handle.”

The first time I went, it took a week and a half before I could finally straighten my arms again.

But something strange has been happening as I’ve been returning. It’s been awhile since I felt this strong, vital and full of energy. After a good workout I feel like I could wrestle an ancient monster with my bare hands.

So I can’t think of a better post-workout beer than The Hercules Double IPA.

“Hoppier, maltier and with more alcohol than a standard IPA, Hercules Double IPA definitely is not for the faint of heart,” describes Great Divide Brewing Co. “Hercules Double IPA is, however, an elixir fit for the gods.”

The Hercules weighs in at a muscular 9.1% ABV and 85 IBUs along with “a hefty backbone of nutty, toffee-like malt character balances Hercules’ aggressive, punchy hop profile.”

Uh-oh. I feel it coming on again. Say it with me:

RrrrrrrrrOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!

I’ve probably never been more impressed by an exercise.

This picture comes courtesy of CrossFit Milwaukee, personal training that incorporates full-body functional movement, weight lifting, gymnastics and occasionally beer.

Head trainer Ryan Atkins explains the circumstances of this photo:

Awhile back I posted a tongue-in-cheek argument supporting the bicep curl as a functional movement. One of my final summarizing contentions was that a person couldn’t drink while doing pull-ups. Our resident stud athlete, Nate S. proved me wrong. Congrats, Nate! Your mom must be so proud!

Speaking of drinking exercises, here’s how he defends the bicep curl (which is now widely seen as a rather worthless exercise):

Trainer Dina and Nate illustrate how the bicep curl is a universal motor pattern. Sure, we could do a keg stand, a multi-joining movement that uses more muscle groups and demands more fitness, but that would limit consumption only to more elite athletes. Other people might argue that its functionality is limited because the curl can’t move large loads, long distances, or move quickly relative to other movements. However, we don’t see the point of deadlifting that keg and cleaning that bag of ice if you can’t get the beer to your mouth. My staff and I will toe the party line, describe the curl as a nonfunctional movement to our clients, but we will smile/nod/wink to each other knowingly. We in Wisconsin know better. Next week - using the lateral raise to become a better bartender!

Ryan was a former mixed martial artist who started the CrossFit program about six years ago while he was a stay-at-home dad. At the time he was gaining weight and having trouble sticking to “monotonous bodybuilding routines” that he was used to.

CrossFit appealed to him for its full-body functional movements, meaning it incorporates several muscle groups at once and uses full ranges of motion rather than isolating solitary muscles.

Soon he found that he was in the best shape of his life. Now he’s a certified trainer who opened a local facility about a year ago.

“When I found out about something that’s too good NOT to share, it seemed like the natural choice,” he said. “That, and I HATE wearing a suit and tie on a daily basis!”

His favorite beers include New Glarus, Guinness and St. Pauli Girl. In beer, like in fitness, Ryan prefers a mix of the full bodied and the functional.