DRAFT Magazine

It’s not often we slow down enough in our day-to-day lives to learn a lesson from nature.

But this weekend I had kind of a revelation.

I was spending a couple days relaxing at the Amelia Island Plantation. I read a lot, took runs next to the Atlantic Ocean, got a deep-tissue sports massage, had nightly beer and wine and even tried my hand at tennis for the first time ever.

But the most memorable part of the weekend was a hike with one of the resort naturalists.

The first thing I noticed was how many huge, impressive, athletic-looking birds like herons, egrets and ibises inhabited the wetlands and rivers in the area. The second thing I noticed was how lazy they were.

These birds were just laying low on branches overlooking beautiful bodies of water. They looked like statues.

They possessed the power of flight — one of the most awesome abilities in the entire animal kingdom — and all the seemed to care about at that moment was chillaxing.

I pointed this out to the naturalist, who explained to me that the birds hung out and conserved energy during the day to do major flying, diving and hunting around dawn and dusk.

I don’t claim to be a birding expert all of a sudden, but this explanation sounded like birds — and a lot of animals, really — kind of instinctively live the beer runner philosophy. They know when to fully exert themselves, and they know when to back off and just chill.

So as you can see, nature clearly supports vacations.

Also, according to Wikipedia, birds have developed massive pecs as an evolutionary adaptation for flight. So even when they’re not showing off the feat of flying, they command a lot of respect just hanging out on the beach.

Mueller at the Copenhagen Jazz Festival

What would you do if you were caught riding an extremely uncomfortable bicycle in a foreign country?

For Jon Mueller, the answer was obvious.

“It was similar to being kicked in the balls every time I pedaled,” he said. “But beer took the edge of the awkward riding condition.”

If Danish beer can deal with that kind of pain, it’s no wonder studies have shown Denmark is the happiest place on earth.

Mueller, who recently returned from a musical tour of Denmark, traveled around on a too-big bike (pictured) borrowed from Niklas Antonsson of the Danish group Slaraffenland.

“The seat on this bike was very high,” he explained. “And since the post was rusted, it could not be lowered.”

Fortunately, his bike took him to Danish bars and the occasional German ship (the MS Stubnitz) that was docked in Copenhagen for the Jazz Festival.

“Lots of cool little bars all over,” he said. “Both the places I played and otherwise.”

So how did this legendary, medicinal beer taste?

“My favorite Danish beer was Ale No. 16,” Mueller said. “Dark, but not too heavy, with a nice ale flavor. I also had a porter that was really intense — really smokey and rich, like a Danish sandwich.”

Exotic biking

Andrew Katzander has an interesting job.

OK, I have to just come out and say it: He rides around with exotic dancers on the back of his bike.

Seriously.

“I get kicked in the head a lot,” says Andrew Katzander. “But it’s worth it.”

Introducing the new sport of PoleRiding: “Athletes, acrobats, aerialist and dancers who perform with strength, flexibility and showmanship. They are also bicycle racers, bike commuters and regular bike riders themselves.”

Their mission is to promote cycling and pole dancing, especially in its new incarnation as fitness and mainstream dancing. And it is a workout. Don’t I know.

So far it’s only in New York, but watch for it to spread in the future. So says Andrew…

How did you come up with the idea?

I was riding along the bike path along the river past the Hustler Club. The idea hit me. It was a 1+1=10/ Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup moment that I didn’t have to write down to remember. I told a couple of friends who also love bikes (and women) and we knew it had to be done.

So, how does this work exactly?

Polerider is  the name given to the vehicle which consists of a pedal powered rickshaw with a platform, dance pole lighting and sound. Poleriders perform in moving traffic. The first ride was with a dancer named Playjoy for the Halloween Parade. We stopped by the club where she was dancing, she changed into an outfit, and things got crazy. A pack of drooling boys on BMX bikes followed us around and people ran out of bars to watch. After dropping her off, I rode around the rest of the night picking up dancers. At one point two drunk girls fought for a turn. It was surreal. The most amazing bike ride of my life. Then I met Marlo and she brought friends and students from her pole class to join. That was a crazy night.

How do you find PoleRiders?

I first posted an ad on Craigs. Then word of mouth. I have a PoleRiders Facebook group and a lot of dancers all over the world are now fans and are waiting for Poleriders to expand to their country. I am still looking to add to the NYC team since this is still a part time gig and plans sometimes happen last minute. I like to go on a test ride out of traffic so the dancers can get used to the trike. So far everyone loves the feeling.

What events have you done?

We rolled out for the Halloween Parade with five or six dancers taking turns. There were a couple of film and photo shoots and we converted the PoleRider to Santa’s sled for SantaCon. We did the Dance Parade recently and a shoot for German/Euro TV. It’s been mostly going out for fun with Marlo and some practice runs and auditions with new dancers. There is no typical night, but lots of cheering and camera flashes have become a regular thing. A lot of women ask to jump on for a quick spin or photo.

Is there typically beer?

Most of our appearances are outdoors and on the street, but we ride through a lot of areas that have bars. People come running out of them when we roll by. We would be very interested in performing at outdoor concerts music and art festivals and other venues where people can gather and party.

What’s a Pole Rider’s favorite beer?

After a long ride on a hot day there is nothing better. I drink Stella Artois. Dancers drink light beer generally since weight is a huge factor in performance. Amstel Light seems to be the fave.

Who gets the better workout: The dancer or the biker?

The workouts are very different. Riding is more aerobic and I can go for hours as long as I get food and water, but it is way harder than riding a regular bike since it weighs so much. Dancers need breaks because they lift and support their own weight. I’m amazed at what they do. I would say pole dancing is a more intense and focused workout on the muscles but it doesn’t get your heart rate and breathing up the way cycling does.

What’s next for the PoleRiders?

I met a new dancer recently on Facebook who is a pole dance instructor in London as well as a competitive cyclist. She gets the best of both and I think she is our biggest fan. She will join PoleRiders this summer.

We arrived promptly at SAVOR at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday night in downtown DC. Only to find the sold-out crowd already forming a line snaking down the block. The $95 tickets were selling like Barack Obama memorabilia.

No matter. The crowd was good-natured while packing inside the National Building Museum. (Sounds like that’s a made-up satirical place in DC, but it’s real.)

My friends Jeff and Rick, my wife Jess and I immediately started sampling the 136 craft beers from 68 American craft brewers, from Abita to Weyerbacher. Not all at once, of course.

We also came all the way from Wisconsin to DC to indulge in… endless Wisconsin cheese. It was well worth it. Same goes for Sprecher’s Black Bavarian and Abbey Triple, two beers at the event that are brewed a mile or so from our house. Fortunately, craft brewers arrived from all areas of the country.

This was a mental game. The program spanned 32 pages and listed a mind-boggling array of perfect beer and food pairings, such as the Flying Fish Abbey Dubbel with Moroccan Spiced Lamb Burgers, or the Arcadia Brewing Co. Hopmouth Double IPA with Maytag Blue Cheese (to name just two of my favorites)

Three and a half hours later, we left very, very satisfied. The event is just unreal. In the words of Brewers Association President Charlie Papazian, “It’s a great time to be alive if you love beer.”

And as for that other pairing that goes perfectly with beer, we indulged in that while we were out east, too.

Hiking in the George Washington National Forest

A week from today, I will get in my car with my wife and our friend Missy.

We will drive approximately 800 miles and some 13 hours from Milwaukee to our nation’s capital.

There we will find our sweet, sweet reward:

SAVOR + mountain hiking.

In no particular order. They are both equally awesome.

Last year my friends Jeff, Rick, Emmett and I attended SAVOR and decided it must become a tradition. We were pretty sure we all must have fallen off a cliff while hiking Big Schloss in the George Washington National Forest — and this was heaven. That amazing, it is.

I will let SAVOR explain itself with Facebook fan page language:

A must attend for craft beer aficionados and foodies alike, the second annual SAVOR will offer a memorable craft beer and food experience to a limited number of attendees in the beautiful National Building Museum.

SAVOR the experience - enjoy a reception-style sampling of your choice of 35+ sweet and savory appetizers and 120 craft beers from 65+ breweries. Converse with the luminaries of the craft beer industry - brewery owners, brewers and representatives will be on-hand - serving your beer.

Or maybe a video will help do it justice.

The WereBikes

Beware the WereBikes!

Actually, no need to really beware. It’s just a bike that’s tricked out like a werewolf.

Kurt and Teresa Mitchell wrapped fake fur over their bikes for a Full Moon ride in Austin. January’s full moon was known as a “wolf moon,” hence the decorations.

“We like to call them furbys,” Kurt explained. “And strangely take offense when called fuzzy.”

I met Kurt and Teresa at the BikeHugger tent at South By Southwest. I later tracked Kurt down and made him talk about the Full Moon Ride, being a personal trainer and what Austin would be if it was beer.

And remember, tonight’s a full moon, so watch out… for the WereBike!

Tell me about the Full Moon Ride. Does it involve drinking and/or howling at the moon?

It’s every full moon, starting at midnight. Drinking is the very cornerstone of the full moon ride. We try and blend in with the young hipster/doofus kids swilling Lone Star and riding fixies. My wife thinks I use think type of language to mask my longing to be hip. Damn, I hate when she’s right! The day you saw the bikes festooned as they were was for the “wolf moon” ride. That night, someone had a papier-mâché moon fixed above their bike on a wire. We were all to follow and some if not all 300 plus riders let out a howl or two.

What’s your favorite beer to have after a workout?

It all depends on who I ride with. If I’m over my head and just trying to hang on to a wheel (like riding with my wife), it’s Recoverite or Endurox R4, a nap and then a nice Wit beer. A more social ride sometimes ends with something meatier, New Belgium 1554 or Left Hand Milk Stout.

What do you specialize in as a personal trainer?

I coach a run group and a Tri group that I dearly love. Turning people on to endurance sports is fantastic. However, I think the most rewarding hours are spent helping folks change their lifestyle, their bodies, and minds.

Since I met you at the Bike Hugger tent, how did you find out about them? Do you do many things with them?

Received an email from Mellow Johnny’s Bike Shop about the whole affair. At that point we knew nothing about Bike Hugger. Since then we have been on their site many times and linked to lots of bike culture crap. We don’t have a TV so websites are the primary form of entertainment.

If Austin was a beer, what would it be?

Shiner Bock. Just like Austin, it used to be dirt cheap and natural. Now, overpriced and full of crap (corn syrup). Again, why do I have to be so crass? “You kids get out of my yard!”

The Ginger Man

Where have you been all my life, Austin, Texas? Where?!

I am long overdue discovering the charms of Austin — beer, cycling, running and, of course, South By Southwest.

I’ve found the amount of Beer Runners in Austin could fill this blog for years. In the coming weeks you’ll meet some I’ve crossed paths with at the SXSW Interactive conference.

I met local beer runner Chad Costello on the sun-soaked downtown patio of the mighty Ginger Man. They have an extensive selection on tap, and I can highly recommend the Bear Republic Racer 5 IPA and the locally brewed 512 Pecan Porter.

Bear Republic Racer 5 IPA

Chad offered to give me a 5-mile running tour the next day of the trails around Lady Bird Lake, and stashed my non-running gear at his downtown office. I wasn’t disappointed.

Those not lucky enough to run into such a helpful benefactor can use the lockers at Lance Armstrong’s downtown bike shop Mellow Johnny’s. (Or so I heard.)

After a day of listening to President Obama’s favorite Hawaiian singer play live, Bill Hader of SNL get interviewed a few feet from me, and visiting my favorite store in the world, I hit up another bar: The Draught House. Just another day at SXSW.

True to its name, the Draught House has an impressive selection of beer on tap, from Dogfish Head to New Belgium to Left Hand and their own delicious Hop Gold.

Now as you read this I’ll be on my way home. So long, SXSW and Austin. You left a bitter taste in my mouth, in a good way. See you next year.

Last summer I took a two-week, 1,300-mile bike trip to clear my head after I lost my job. It was more or less life changing.

Now I’m spoiled. I’m planning a million imaginary bike rides for this summer. But unless I lose my job again — for the record I’m not hoping for that — I’ll have to be choosy with my vacation time.

As if the decision wasn’t hard enough, I just found out about the Shuttleguy tours.

Incidentally, I randomly met the Shuttleguy owner during last summer’s trip. We were riding on the same trail in Dodgeville, Wisconsin, and he noticed we had the same style Trek Cyclocross bike. I got his business card, later signed up for his mailing list, and this week got a postcard annoucing their 2009 tours.

Some of these tours even include beer as an integral part of the experience. I believe my exact word were, “HOLY CRAP I WANT TO GO TO THERE!”

Take, for instance, the BREW (Bike Ride Exploring Wisconsin). The official description:

Experience challenging bicycling, craft beer, artisan cheeses, and local wines. A great blend of structured tours, select group meals, personal free time, amazing scenery, quirky attractions and personal attention by dedicated staff who know the area well make this a great bicycle vacation. This is a camping tour with hotel options. Register now. This tour will fill up quickly.

And the Harvest Ride:

This grand tour, presented in cooperation with Capital Brewery in Middleton, Wis., celebrates Island Wheat Ale. Connect the brewery to the wheat fields of Washington Island on this six day ride. Discover the heart of Wisconsin’s fertile farmland, Lake Michigan’s majestic shore line, and the back roads of enchanting Door County.

…And many more, including RAGBRAI. Can I do them all?

Few sights are more welcome in this world than a stout in front of you while a monster snowstorm rages outside.

At least that’s the case in the U.P.

The last few days vacation in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula were eventful, to say the least. I attempted to push a truck out a waist-high snowbank, hiked through knee-high backcountry snow for a few hours, survived the worst white-out I’ve ever seen and ice climbed again.

My sweet, sweet reward for the effort was experiencing two classy establishments with some amazing beer in downtown Marquette, Michigan.

The Vierling Restaurant houses the stellar Marquette Harbor Brewing Company. This is where I sipped a heavenly, creamy, delicious, fresh stout. I demolished an incredible turkey burger and washed it down with an equally satisfying chocolate wheat beer.

Vierling growlers photo by I Am Jacques Strappe

The next night we had a fancy night out on the town at Upfront & Co. They don’t brew their own, but they do have an extensive regional beer list. I knocked a few back from the mighty Michigan brewery Bells. One of these, the Hopslam, was deservedly named one of DRAFT’s top beers of 2008.

You really can’t go wrong with either of those places.

Now I’m back in Milwaukee with a meager beard to show for a week of growing insulation for outdoor sports. Suddenly, 27 degrees feels like a heat wave.

You know how Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow? I think they learned most of them from Yoopers.

I started writing this from the backseat of a station wagon driving through a near-whiteout blizzard. Just another day in the U.P.

My driver and guide is a incredibly chatty local 64-year-old woman named Sandy. She has one hand on the wheel and she keeps turning around, pointing out the windows and lecturing me and my fellow passengers on local lore.

This is what I wanted to say:

CAN YOU PLEASE CONCENTRATE ON KEEPING US ALIVE?!?

Also, the Beach Boys are playing on the radio right after they announce a winter storm warning with up to 18 inches of “considerable blowing snow.” Sandy is completely unfazed.

We’re on our way back to do some more snowshoeing. I bought another set of Patagonia base layers and Black Diamond gaiters at the local Downwind Sports for this occasion. I’m going to need it.

Yesterday it was a balmy 32 degrees and I went cross country skiing and snowshoeing in the Valley Spur trails in the Hiawatha National Forest near Munising. Those are the best trails I’ve ever been on. Well marked, well groomed, very extensive. I went out for hours and barely scratched the surface.

Trails of Valley Spur

Noquemanon Trails

Today we started with snowshoeing through the Noquemanon trails system in Marquette, Michigan. It’s a peaceful woods with only a few sets of tracks. We saw only two other fellow hikers and three dogs.

Then we headed toward what Sandy calls “the end of the world.”

We arrive at a trail called Wetmore Landing and snowshoe a short hike to the shore of Lake Superior. The wind is whipping. Snow is blasting. Waves are crashing over hills of ice.

Now I know what she means by the end of the world.

“I guess I took you to the right place, eh?” Sandy says.

Eh! I mean, Yes!

So that was awesome.

Now onto beer.

I don’t generally drink craft beer from a can. But in the U.P., it seems fitting. It happened last night at the Brownstone Inn in AuTrain, Michigan. (Thanks to E. Nelson for his U.P. beer suggestions in the comments.)

I was introduced to the local Keweenaw Brewing, which makes Red Jacket Amber Ale. There’s an illustration of a miner on the can, which is also a first that I’ve seen. I can’t say the beer was all that memorable outside of the packaging, but it went well with the mild whitefish fresh from Lake Superior.

They also had Founders, which is not local in the strictest sense — it’s made by the “trolls,” U.P. parlance for downstate Michigan residents who live under the Mackinac bridge. Founders makes an excellent Scotch Ale with Dirty Bastard.

Finally, I was also impressed with the New Holland Sun Dog Amber Ale I ordered from the Sweet Water Cafe in Marquette, Michigan. It went well with the huevos rancheros made with local and organic ingredients.