DRAFT Magazine

PBR? Don't mind if I do

“Cyclocross,” said a spectator wearing a baseball cap declaring DENY EVERYTHING, “is the fine art of drinking on the run.”

Or, in this case, drinking on the bike. Cyclocross season is now in full swing.

In a previous Beer Runner post, a cyclocross racer described the autumnal sport in three words: “Pain, pain, beer.” The race I witnessed on Sunday lived up to the billing, and then some.

Never have I seen an event where spectators played such an integral role. They stood at the peak of a hill — steep enough that riders regularly had to dismount, shoulder their bikes and hoof it — egging on riders with copious amounts of beer, cowbell, insults and even trombones playing every random tune from “Iron Man” to the Super Mario Bros theme.

And as spectators drank up, so did the riders. At every lap the over-enthusiastic fans extended Miller High Life or PBR, most of whom gratefully indulged. I caught some of the festive action in photos.

It was also the inaugural cyclocross race of the season. This means, as my friend Timothy T pointed out, it’s only going to get crazier. Drink up, riders.

Nope, I certainly don’t. You probably don’t, either.

It takes a special breed to be a member of the official cheer squad for the Brew City Bruisers, Milwaukee’s raucous roller derby grrrls. (Motto: “We don’t have just a pair, we have quads!”)

The Bruiser’s blog related a Beerleader’s qualities in a telling profile of former “co-captain and drill bitch” Kim ‘N Tonic:

“She a prime example of the Beerleaders. With energy to spare and an upbeat attitude, she exemplifies her squad… The Beerleaders add energy and theatrics to an already exciting sporting event.”

So, if you think you can perform a choreographed dance routine to “Thriller,” you can come up with a cool name for yourself like Walter BlondeAle, and, most of all, you’re 21 or older… you just might have a shot at the title of Beerleader.

Season 4 tryouts take place on Saturday, July 25, 1-3 p.m. at the BrewHaus, 300 E Ward Street in Milwaukee. Get more info at beerleaders@brewcitybruisers.com or visit myspace.com/brewcitybeerleaders.

I have a strong feeling that the Fat Tire Tour of Milwaukee (FTTM) is something that you just have to be there for.

The legendary bike ride pub crawl “through the underbelly of Milwaukee” celebrated 25 years this year.

By all accounts, it sounded epic.

It started and ended at Benno’s Bar with Belgian beers. Organizer Pee Oui Roubaix (his Nom de Beer) reports they are now “obligated to drink them, so let me know when you can lend a hand. They’ve got the wicked Kwak and Ename. Nectar of the Gods and Goddesses”

It took all day to cover rough 25 miles. That’s how long it took due to mid- bike ride games including Beer Barrel Bump, Infinity Spiral and tattoo judging. Not sure if this was a game, but there was also beer drinking from a water fountain. And then there was this.

If you missed it, not to worry. The organizers are planning another similar ride for Saturday, September 12 called the Milwaukee Steel is Real Ride. Reportedly, to qualify for the ride you have to pass under a magnet proving your frame is truly made of steel. It will start and end at Milwaukee’s bike friendly Cafe Hollander.

This Saturday you can officially chase skirts, watch an “all the way down to the skivvies” show and drink beer.

Sound like your typical weekend? Well, this time you can actually get rewarded for it, instead of potentially going to jail.

The Skirt Chaser 5k race series arrives in Chicago on Saturday, with future dates to come in Denver, Austin and Orange County.

Here’s how the race works: Women runners start first in a “Catch Me” wave, followed by male runners three minutes later in the “SkirtChaser” wave. First athlete to cross the finish line, male or female, wins $500.

A block party will follow with beer from Oskar Blues Brewery. This is when the “all the way down to the skivvies” show starts, emceed by SkirtSports products founder Nicole DeBoom, who created the first running skirt.

According to the race info:

Come for the crazy awards, or the scandalous fashion show, or the free beer and music, or the chance to leave your kids at home with the babysitter on a party night, or imagine that, the actual race! But mostly, come help SkirtSports and all of its sponsors celebrate a fun-filled life of fitness, where you’ll never stop smiling and you may just meet your future spouse!

It also adds this final disclaimer:

“Be careful on that course! You may be the next ‘most likely to make out at the water station’ winner!!”

The six sweetest words in the English language.

With those words on a new commemorative Fat Tire label, New Belgium officially made its long-awaited arrival in Wisconsin.

As of Monday, you could pick up New Belgium Fat Tire, Mothership Wheat and 1554 in my home state in 22-ounce, full pint bottles. And there was much rejoicing in the land.

I picked up a few pre-ordered cases from Blatz Liquor in Milwaukee. Several did the same. We put quite a dent in the inventory.

New Belgium keeps rolling along and next arrives in South Dakota on Monday, May 11. It will be available in 29 states by the middle of 2009, according to The Full Pint.

A spokesperson quoted on the Full Pint said the company is excited to share their “passion for world-class beers and the biking life.”

And just how do they have a passion for beer and bikes? You gotta check this out.

The Short's to Short's course

“Water makes beer, water sustains life, and water is fun to recreate in.”

By that reasoning, Joe Short of Short’s brewery just instituted the first annual “Short’s to Short’s” paddle on May 1.

The northeastern Michigan brewery is marking five years and a second new brewing facility. To celebrate, they are having a paddle from one brewery in Bellaire to the other in Elk Rapids.

“Five years is a pretty big deal… I think,” Joe declared. “Feels like twenty. Feels like two.”

The paddle is no simple cruise. It covers about 26 miles, which Short estimates will take most participants 12-16 hours.

“This quest is a testament of the discipline, endurance, pleasure and reward we might think to associate with our last five years of Short’s Brew,” Short noted.

The entire event seems gloriously and magically thrown together. (”Well, I plan on having some beer…” Short says about the official finish festivities.) Not unlike the brewery itself.

“It’s a damn good thing I don’t know what I’m doing,” Joe says. “Because if I did, I think it would be pretty boring.”

Rehydrating.

One of my favorite things about the cycling community is the easy, instant camaraderie. You meet a new rider, you bike together, you have a few beers, and BAM! you have a new best friend.

Now throw in a higher purpose than just logging a few hours in the trainer, and you have some real potential for bonding.

It was under these conditions that I recently met some stellar cyclists: Tom Schuler, Scott Galaska and Brent Emery. And it just so happened that one was a former Olympian.

The four of us biked for most of the Admirals game to get people to sign up for the Greater Milwaukee Tour de Cure, a fund-raising ride for the American Diabetes Association.

Tom Schuler

Tom, it turns out, is the man behind the legendary Bone Ride, an annual day-long bike trip from Milwaukee to Madison and back again — a distance of about 180 miles. I’ve only heard of this ride mentioned in hushed tones. It’s for serious riders who can maintain 20+ miles per hour the entire way.

Tom, I found out later, is a retired pro racer and is prominent enough in the cycling community to have his own Wikipedia page. And he let me borrow his trainer.

Brent Emery

On the other side of me was former Olympian, record holder, and developer of one of the first aero bars in the world. Meet Brent Emery. He had just finished closing up his shop for the night, and was returning in the morning to lead a 5:30 a.m. training session.

Even though both man’s reputations preceded them, they were quite content to pedal, chat and have a beer on the bike with any random cyclist, like me. It doesn’t take much to make friends in the Beer Cyclist community.

And now here’s a photo of me biking with a sign that says beer cheese! Rock!

In Wisconsin, there are three unmistakable signs that springtime has arrived:

1) Spring training.

2) Bikes.

3) Cold rain.

Ernesto Martinez-Ordaz, a legendary beer cyclist who I wrote about here, combines all three.

First, behold his custom-made Brewer’s Bike:

Honoring the city’s cycling and beer-themed major league baseball traditions, this bike has its origins in Ernesto’s wife’s cousin’s garage.

“It had been hanging there for 20 or so years,” Ernesto explained. “He noticed I had been just looking, and looking, and checking it out. He simply gave it to me and said, ‘I am never going to ride it - it’s been there for about 20 years.’”

Ernesto took it home, stripped it in less than 10 minutes, and made it a single speed Brewers Bike to give back to his friend Ryan.

“He’s a big fan,” Ernesto said. “So am I, but I think he needed something to just go around town, off road, on the road, etc. Something worry free and single speed. A do-it-all bike.”

Finally, he found some old logo Brewers stickers on eBay, used some of his old parts and BAM! it was a brand new bike.

“He’s already seen it, and he is very excited to ride it!” Ernesto said.

The other sure-fire sign of spring: The Milwaukee Bike to Work message list lighting up with everyone’s accounts of biking in the rain. Like Ernesto’s:

“It was the kind of weather that chills to the bone because your clothes are all wet,” he said.”I did not know it was going to be raining hard as I left the house.”

He wore shorts and leg warmers that got instantly wet, warm weather gloves, wool socks, and neoprene booties. Wet, but at least warm.

“18 miles of pure awesome!” he reported.

It’s T-minus 4 days until spring. So in honor of the changing seasons, let us first praise winter, before we bury it.

I can’t think of a better winter spokesman than photographer Chris Gibbs, an active Minnesotan outdoorsman and someone I believe is truly impervious to cold.

“I love winter,” he says.

He’s currently working on a book called “Living Below Zero: Winter In Minnesota.” It’s a photographic look on how Minnesotans spend their time during the winter months, and will cover a lot of winter activities unique to Minnesota. And there are many.

You’ve camped in -36 degree weather (without windchill). What beer will warm you up the fastest after such an extreme experience?

Preferably a Belgian with a very high ABV.

You’ve drilled 20 inches into frozen Lake Superior ice for water. I have no beer-related follow-up to that. That’s just awesome.

Thanks. Here’s a photo of what it can look like when trying to get water on Lake Superior during high winds.

What’s your favorite spot for beer in Minnesota?

Easily, Fitgers Brewhouse, Duluth MN.

Have any good outdoor activity photography that happens to feature beer?

These two I did remember shooting at the Two Harbors Kayak Festival one early morning.  The results from a nice evening paddle day before.

You got into photography by kayaking on Lake Superior and leading winter trips in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. How did you get into beer?

My good friend Frank Kazuba. We met while working for an outdoor store in Duluth. We attended a canoe event in New York together and he planned our route to visit the Ommegang Brewery outside of Cooperstown.  He explained his passion for Belgian beer and this brewery was one of his favorites.  From then on I developed a taste for good beer and he taught more about beer than I thought I would ever know.  He is currently one of the brewers at Fitgers Brewhouse.

In 2006 you embarked on a 100 mile journey across Quetico Provincial Park in Canada. What was your most memorable moment from that journey?

That time when you have gone so far away from civilization that on a clear night even the smallest northern city lights are no long visible on any horizon. We reached that point on our trek the 6th day.

Anything else to add?

Recently, on the way home from an outing up north, I came across one way to spend your time on Mille Lacs Lake, MN: Car ice racing.

The La Crosse Between the Bluffs festival recently announced their list of breweries that will be at the April 25th event, and it’s a veritable Who’s Who of some of the best damn craft brewers in the entire Midwest.

Here’s a partial list thanks to the Wisconsin beer and biking-centric blog All Things Steve:

Bells Brewery - Kalamazoo, Michigan

Capital Brewery - Madison, Wisconsin

Central Waters Brewing Company - Amherst, Wisconsin

Dark Horse Brewing Company - Marshall, Michigan

Furthermore Beer - Spring Green, Wisconsin

Goose Island Beer Company - Chicago, Illinois

New Glarus Brewing Company - New Glarus, Wisconsin

The Grumpy Troll Brew Pub - Mount Horeb, Wisconsin

Tyranena Brewing Company - Lake Mills, Wisconsin

Viking Brewing Company - Dallas, Wisconsin

Wow, are you kidding me? Really? We should consider ourselves very lucky.

Also new this year is a pre-fest home brewing contest, to which All Things Steve contributor LJerome issued this proclamation: “Best believe ATS will be in full effect.”

Finally, La Crosse is not just a great place for beer with this festival. You guessed it. It’s a great place to get outdoors for a bike ride or a run, including along the scenic Mississippi River trails or around the festival’s titular bluffs.

Check out some already pre-mapped routes here thanks to MapMyRun.com.